Divorce Letter

[gaznlou]

Dear Wife:

 

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to

show for it.

 

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that

you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

 

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new

haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new

pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to

sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me

anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband

and wife.

 

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever

the case, I'm gone.

 

Your EX-Husband

 

 

P.S.

Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West

Virginia together! Have a great life!

 

 

 

Dear Ex-Husband -

 

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true

that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man

is a far cry from what you've been.

 

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining

and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

 

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing

that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother

raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I

didn't comment.

 

And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me

confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years

ago.

 

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the